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We were a gold mine they gutted us.
We've played doctor. That's all i'll say about that.
Behind the rhinoceros i glimpsed the flowering cacti
behold the happy forest
The only person i know who could actually pull off starting her own island. those with SUV's beware.
I kinda wish i knew you
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| i know that i was warned, still it was not what i hoped. |
| 06.28.04 (7:27 am) [edit] |
i think i'm done gunning to get closer
to some imagined bliss
i gotta knuckle down
just be ok with this
~ani
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| idk |
| 06.27.04 (7:47 pm) [edit] |
we need to talk. please.
call me or something.
why cant it just be simple? I miss it being simple.
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| work your way out |
| 06.27.04 (7:01 am) [edit] |
Well i got the talk i was expecting from john. I thought i'd recount a few choice moments. He said "Despite what you think outside this house i do have authority over you and you need to aknoladge that." Thats funny, because any authority he does have is only through my mom, and has/deserves little to no influence. He called me nasty, and said once again that i create a bad atmosphere in the house. He reiterated a few times that i am not normal. The way i act is not normal. THe way i interact with them is not normal. Well thanks for that little revalation. Ass hole.
What a wonderful way to start a sunday morning.
~Abnormal
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| everyone say hello to happy zach |
| 06.25.04 (9:52 pm) [edit] |
:D
thanks, for everything.
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| lift me |
| 06.25.04 (1:56 pm) [edit] |
hamocks always seem to bring out the best in people.
I got 2 poems in the Silver Nickel....Idk how i feel about it. IT's good and bad. It's cool that i got chosen, but the ones that were chosen were thrown together at the last minute to make the deadline, and arent really a good representation of what i'm about. Oh well, any recognition is good i suppose. Thinking about people being able to look at them without my premission is...unnerving to say the least. :shock:
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| 4 point 6 |
| 06.24.04 (9:21 pm) [edit] |
confusion runs down your face like a cold sweat
the puddle on your chest lets you know you're alive
...that made more sense in my head. Oh well. I feel good. That's really all i have to say.
~zach
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| so weak and powerless.. |
| 06.23.04 (9:54 pm) [edit] |
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mood swings are a beautiful thing.
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| mmm chem |
| 06.23.04 (1:21 pm) [edit] |
Silent bullets fly past your head
Ducking, Dodging
You neednt fear what you cannot see.
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| the thunder wishes it could be the snow |
| 06.22.04 (7:14 pm) [edit] |
I wish the things i felt werent so....wrong. Circumstance is a bitch.
this all makes me feel so dumb.
~zach
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| my thoughts exactly. |
| 06.20.04 (6:37 am) [edit] |
i've got
no illusions about you
and guess what?
i never did
and when i said
when i said i'll take it
i meant,
i meant as is
~ani
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| as is |
| 06.20.04 (6:32 am) [edit] |
Good days make it all seems so far away.
I got a new piercing. Still not sure how i feel about it, but i think i'm gonna like it. Sleeping is a bitch though. Oh well, it's worth it.
Hopefully more meaningful blogs will be coming soon.
~zach
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| you dont know what you do to me. |
| 06.18.04 (1:48 pm) [edit] |
I asked.
I feel like peeling off my skin.
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| I'm in hideing |
| 06.18.04 (12:41 pm) [edit] |
It's been about three days now
Since I've been aground
No longer overwhelmed and it seems so simple now
It's funny when things change so much
It's all state of mind
~Pj
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| 5-4=Unity (?) |
| 06.16.04 (12:36 pm) [edit] |
why am I always the first to leave? Not justin the litereal sense, but......fuck. I dont know what i'm trying to say. It seems like a lot of the time it feels like i've left the situation even before my body has...
Like i'm waiting for someone to call me back before i step out completely. It never seems to come.
I've been deleting a lot of blogs this week...who knows if this will even get read...I guess that's really a pointless thought, isnt it?
I really, really want my nose to stop hurting.
~zach
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| No Code soothes the soul |
| 06.15.04 (6:53 pm) [edit] |
i don't wanna think, i wanna feel
how do i feel?
nummy.
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| title? |
| 06.14.04 (5:03 pm) [edit] |
I think i tend to generalize things too much, so in an attempt to combat that, i'm gonna try to be more specific when i say things like "i hate it here."
I think what i hate most is the smell. It's....horrific? Everywhere, even my own room....you cant get away from it. It's some mix of dog and the smells that seem to excrete by the gallon from my step-sister. ew. It's hard to even describe. The bathrooms....I dont want to even think about those. You wouldnt believe they are 40 something and 12 years old. I mean, come on. come. on.
~zach
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| face up and sing |
| 06.14.04 (7:45 am) [edit] |
Somebody do something
anything, soon
I know I cant be the only, whatever i am in this room
Why am I so lonley?
Why am I so tired?
I need backup
I need company
I need to be inspired
~a.d.
yeah....that's about right.
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| the fumes aid the pace of my cleaning |
| 06.12.04 (2:51 pm) [edit] |
:)
For real this time.
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| thought it was a good solution... |
| 06.11.04 (7:07 pm) [edit] |
i think knowing people are somewhere together without you, when you really want to be there is one of the worst possible feelings. I really wish i could drive.
Yeah, i'm just a little lonley.
~zach
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| who are you sometimes? |
| 06.11.04 (2:15 pm) [edit] |
:roll:
there, i did it.
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| please forgive me for my distance, the pain has manifested in my resistance... |
| 06.10.04 (5:25 pm) [edit] |
I want to know why i do this.
When i become hostile is when i've lost all control. It scares me to death. If you see it happening mention it to me. Please.
I aploigize for the earlier blog....i just....idk.
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| I've been so. damn. tired. |
| 06.10.04 (1:25 pm) [edit] |
right now i'm so sick of myself, i dont evenknow what to say about it.
honesty begets humiliation, it seems.
come closer. try it. I dare you.
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| Without her, we are lifeless sattelites drifting |
| 06.10.04 (11:28 am) [edit] |
As full and bright as I am
This light is not my own and
A million light reflections pass over me
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| this is cooling.... |
| 06.09.04 (3:56 pm) [edit] |
I need to learn to be more cryptic. If tori has tought me anything, it's that if you're not sure how to say what you mean, diguise it beneith layers upon layers of skewed metaphors and odd imagrey and you will inevitably be hailed as brilliant. So here goes nothing:
I can feel my greatest victory to date
fade away with the setting sun
replaced instead by a speeding butterfly
unexpected in it's approach
not unwelcome, but still...
butterflies never stay
meh, i tried.
~zach
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| half of learning what to play is learning what not to play... |
| 06.08.04 (3:17 pm) [edit] |
I had to present in creative writing today....i could see my heart beating through my shirt...the whole time i was up there i could hear my voice getting worse and worse, and i kept tripping over words....I couldnt look up to save my life....I dont think i'm cut out for this.
~zach
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| it's something unpredictable... |
| 06.05.04 (9:05 pm) [edit] |
I really want to write in here, but i'm not sure what i should. I dont know what's worth posting. I dont want to bore you, and i would like it to have some meaning, but beyond that i have no idea. Writing in this used to help me organize my thoughts, and sometimes would make me feel better about them, but now it just seems like a waste. Somebody tell me what you want, cause i cant even figure out what i want.
~zach
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| pretty good year |
| 06.03.04 (2:42 pm) [edit] |
hold onto nothing
as fast as you can
still, a pretty good year
some things are melting now
~tori
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| i get to roll with the flyest of the fly |
| 06.01.04 (5:27 pm) [edit] |
![]() =http://img18.photobucket.com/...
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| mmm |
| 06.01.04 (5:00 pm) [edit] |
all my traumas hinge upon
some convoluted axiom
of the cube of x plus y
equals itself divided by now
where have you gone?
~Mr. Doughty
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| left here looking for girls that glow in the dark... |
| 06.01.04 (4:57 pm) [edit] |
Whenever i go long periods without writing here, i always thing that when i finnaly get a chance it's going to be amazing and somehow enlightening. No such luck. I've been doing a lot of thinking, though i cant particulary remember at the moment what about...I seem to have found another great outlet for my thoughts( :roll: ), so this dosent seem quite as urgent as it sometimes has. If you're interested, I'm doing pretty well. Better than before, which i suppose is all i can ask for. I had a really good time at ellen's, despite the evil cat's attempts to thwart it. Heh, i'd just like to give a shout out to super hand-job cancer patient barbie, no annoying arms legs or head to get in the way barbie, and jim kelly! (ok, i'll stop now. really.)
...and i've run dry. damn.
~guess
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| 46 and two |
| 06.01.04 (12:01 pm) [edit] |
I've been crawling on my belly
Clearing out what could've been.
I've been wallowing in my own confused
And insecure delusions
For a piece to cross me over
Or a word to guide me in.
I wanna feel the changes coming down.
I wanna know what I've been hiding in
My shadow
Change is coming through my shadow
~Tool
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I know so many white people, i mean, where do i start? the trouble with white people is you just cant tell them apart. I'm so bad with names and dates and times, but i'm big on faces. That is, except for mine.
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